Should I ask my partner about getting tested for STIs?

Having an honest and open conversation about getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) should be a priority for any couple in a sexual relationship. While it can be difficult to bring up the topic of STI testing, the benefits far outweigh the risks of not talking about it.

Getting tested is important because STIs are very common, with estimates from the World Health Organization (WHO) showing that nearly 1 million new cases occur each day worldwide.

Although many people are asymptomatic carriers, these infections can still cause serious health complications if left untreated – including infertility and even death. Therefore, having an honest discussion about getting tested should be part of any healthy relationship between partners who are engaging in sexual activity or have had multiple partners in the past.

How to start a conversation with your partner about getting tested

Here are some tips on how to start the conversation about STI testing to ensure both parties feel comfortable and safe.

Plan what you’re going to say

As with any important moment in life, it is important to plan ahead. Before you bring up the subject of STI testing with your partner, make sure you have a clear plan in mind for what you want to say. Consider your main points and anticipate how your partner may respond. Doing this will help you navigate a potentially difficult conversation while minimizing conflict.

Choose the right time and place

When having a difficult conversation with your partner, timing can be everything. Try to identify a time and place where you are both at ease and stressful stimuli are at a minimum. Doing this will help the conversation progress smoothly and ensure you are both in the best frame of mind to tackle to the topic.

Do some research

Before starting a conversation with your partner about getting tested for STIs, it is important to do some research. Knowing as much as possible before the talk can help ensure that you are well informed and have an easier time facilitating a productive discussion.

Researching ahead of time can also provide valuable information on available testing options, treatment recommendations should infection be detected, and tips for navigating potential future conflicts.

Additionally, researching may even uncover solutions or resources that could make the process easier or more convenient for both of you.

Explain your concerns

Give your partner a good sense of why you’re concerned about STIs. You may have concerns about past partners, your present and future health, and more. They will be more likely to empathize with you and your concerns if they understand your reasons for bringing up the topic.

Be empathetic

Different people have different levels of comfort around talking about STIs. Your partner may find this topic uncomfortable and may not respond how you expect them to. Try to empathize with their positions and do what you can to keep the conversation honest and productive.

What STIs should we be worried about?

All STIs should be treated seriously, but some are more dangerous than others. Here is a list of the most common STIs, their symptoms, and their serious health complications.

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted infection that is caused by the bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis.

Symptoms of Chlamydia in women can include:

• Milky discharge from the vagina
• Burning or pain during urination
• Pain during intercourse
• Bleeding between periods

Symptoms of Chlamydia in men can include:

• Burning or pain during urination
• Pain during intercourse
• Milky discharge from the tip of the penis
• Inflamed or swollen testicles
• Discomfort around the tip of the penis

If left untreated, Chlamydia can cause serious health complications, including pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, fatal ectopic pregnancies, reactive arthritis, and an increased chance of getting and transmitting HIV.

Gonorrhoea

Gonorrhoea is a sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae.

Symptoms Gonorrhoea in women can include:

• Pain or burning during urination
• Green or yellow discharge from the vagina
• Pain in the lower abdominal area
• Bleeding between periods, heavy periods, and bleeding after sex

Symptoms of Gonorrhoea in men can include:

• White, green, or yellow discharge from the tip of the penis
• Burning or pain during urination
• Inflammation of the foreskin
• Pain in the testicles

If left untreated, Gonorrhoea can cause serious health complications, including pelvic inflammatory disease, fatal ectopic pregnancy, infertility, miscarriage, premature labour or birth, and an increased chance of contracting Gonorrhoea in the future.

HIV

Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) is a virus that attacks an infected person’s immune system. It can be passed from person to person through body fluids. Symptoms of HIV may include fever, tiredness, weight loss, and swollen lymph nodes.

If left untreated, HIV can cause acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS), leading to life-threatening complications.

Syphilis

Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacterium Treponema pallidum.

Symptoms of Syphilis can include:

• Chancres around the genitals, mouth, or anus
• Diffuse rash
• Fatigue
• Nausea
• Dizziness
• Muscle aches
• Fever

If left untreated, Syphilis can cause serious complications, including heart disease, stroke, blindness, and death.

Hepatitis B

Hepatitis B is an infectious disease caused by the Hepatitis B virus. Hepatitis B attacks the liver and causes inflammation, scarring, and damage to the organ.

Symptoms of Hepatitis B can include:

• Jaundice
• Fatigue
• Nausea
• Dark urine
• Clay-coloured stools
• Abdominal pain
• Joint pain
• Loss of appetite

If left untreated, Hepatitis B can cause chronic inflammation of the liver leading to cirrhosis, liver cancer, and acute liver failure.

Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C is an infectious disease caused the Hepatitis C virus. Hepatitis C attacks the liver, causing inflammation and scarring.

Symptoms of Hepatitis C can include:

• Fatigue
• Nausea
• Abdominal pain
• Loss of appetite
• Fever
• Joint pain
• Jaundice

If left untreated, Hepatitis C can cause long-term damage to the liver, intermittent fatigue, and cirrhosis.

The above is not an exhaustive list of STIs you should be concerned about. If you are concerned about your sexual health, learn as much as you can about other STIs.

Where can we get tested?

You and your partner can get tested at any Better2Know clinic. Find a sexual health clinic near you using our clinic finder.

If you’re unsure what you should do and need advice, you can call the number above to speak to one of our Better2Know sexual health advisors.

Final thoughts

Talking to your partner about getting tested for STIs can be difficult, but it is important. Attending to your sexual health openly and honestly will help ensure the health of both you and your partner going forward.

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