What is “stealthing” and how does it relate to STIs?

New terms that describe age-old human behaviours seem to pop up online every day.

While most of these terms describe largely benign behaviours, like “ghosting” and “snowmanning”, some describe behaviours that are, in fact, troubling and dangerous.

“Stealthing” is a term that comes up often when talking about new sexual encounters. Is it something you need to worry about?

Let’s find out together.

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What is stealthing?

“Stealthing” describes when two people consent to have protected sex, but then one party doesn’t put on a condom, takes it off during the sexual act, or intentionally breaks the condom so it is likely to fail.

Many people who remove or damage a condom during sex may not think they’re breaking the law, but they are. The act of stealthing breaches consent and can thus be considered rape in the UK. This means that someone who does it can be prosecuted. Rape can carry the same sentence as murder: life in prison.

People might engage in stealthing for a variety of reasons, like prioritising their own personal pleasure over the wellbeing of their partner or wishing themselves or the other person to get pregnant without their partner’s knowledge or consent.

Regardless of why people do it, stealthing is a crime and just plain wrong. If you want to have unprotected sex with someone, it’s vital to have that conversation beforehand so that both parties can agree on what will happen.

“Stealthing” can also be a problematic term to use. It’s a slang term that may minimise the damage and harm done, making it seem less serious than other forms of sexual assault and rape. Using the term may cause some people to dismiss this act as less serious than it is. But the truth is stealthing is rape, and rape, no matter how it’s described, is illegal and unacceptable.  

Alongside the legal, moral, and emotional fallout of stealthing, there can also be health fallout.

What are STIs?

STIs are infections that most people get from sex. The vast majority of STIs are transmitted between people through unprotected sexual activity – namely, unprotected vaginal sex, anal sex, and oral sex, as well as sharing sex toys.

STIs are transmitted when infected bodily fluids come into contact with the mucous membranes in the genitals, rectum, mouth, and eyes of someone who isn’t infected.

How are STIs connected to stealthing?

If someone removes a condom or damages it during sex, infected bodily fluids such as vaginal secretions and semen are more likely to infect another person. This is because the barrier that separates direct contact between the genitals and the mucous membranes is compromised, making infectious contact far more likely.

Stealthing can expose an uninfected person to all sorts of STIs, including:

• HIV
• Chlamydia
• Gonorrhoea
• Syphilis
• Herpes
• Hepatitis B
• Hepatitis C
• Trichomonas
• Mycoplasma
• Ureaplasma

While condoms don’t provide guaranteed protection against STI transmission, removing a condom or damaging it during sex makes transmission of such infections far more likely.

What are the other risks of stealthing?

Along with the risks of being exposed to STIs, stealthing can also result in unwanted pregnancies.

Final thoughts

Stealthing is a serious crime. If you suspect that you have been a victim of stealthing, you may want to report this crime to the police and get in touch with services that deal with sexual violence, such as:

• Rape Crisis England and Wales
• Rape Crisis Scotland
• Rape Crisis Northern Ireland

You may also want to seek support from friends and family during this time.

If you think you may have been exposed to an STI through stealthing, it’s important to get tested.

Better2Know provides a wide variety of sexual health screens that provide quick, confidential test results, giving you a full view of your sexual health and clarity about what next steps you should take.

Call the number at the top of this page to speak to one of our trained and compassionate Sexual Health Advisors. They can talk you through your situation and help you come up with a clear plan of action to protect your sexual health.

You can also click the button below to secure an appointment at a sexual health clinic near you. All our appointments are handled by trained clinic staff who will respect your privacy. You can also schedule your appointment anonymously under a different name, if you need to.  

Don’t leave your sexual health to chance. Book an STI test at a sexual health clinic near you.

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